I have finally realized that the perfect relationship isn't a relationship at all.
I'm not speaking for grown-up, mature relationships, but only for the younger generation of couples.
The girl that I have been in love with for the past three years, recently confessed to me that she wasn't in love anymore.
One of her reasons: we didn't fight anymore.
Excuse me? I was convinced that it was every couple's goal not to fight anymore. Isn't that the holy grail of love?
Apparently, fighting keeps the spark alive. I thought that the more we fought, the more we pushed each other away.
In conclusion, I linked this situation with being an offensive one-on-one basketball player.
When you have the ball and a defender is guarding you, the best way to score is to, first, create space.
You do this by closing the gap between you and the defender by getting as close as possible. They will respond to this shift in space by taking a step back to gain proper defensive space again.
If you step back and create a larger gap between you two, then the defender is forced to come closer to be able to properly defend you.
When people used to tell me, "you're too nice, girls like bad boys," I would picture gangster guys or Harley bikers.
I finally understand that I was completely off. Girls don't like literal bad boys. They are attracted to a guy that will come in close, then step back--They need a guy who will give them undivided attention, then turn around and make them feel unimportant.
It's true: love is a game. So, to all the self-proclaimed good-guys out there, take my advice. You will eventually become boring to the girls who are in love with you right now.
Create rifts. Fight. Do things they love. DO things they hate. (Not stuff like cheating on them, or keeping them on lock down... nothing extremely hurtful). If you don't, they will leave.
You need to fight in order to make up, and feel that "new love" feeling again. By fighting, and making up, you recreate that emotion, strengthening the bond between you two in her mind.
Remember, the best way to score is to make sure you're always modifying the space between you and your defender. This is the same with your girlfriend.
Standing still doesn't make for much of a basketball game.
It is no different in a relationship.
